To Lose What Is Lost
by NOOO COULSOOON
Summary: This is the second follow up story to 'Insanity Is My Only Companion' in which is where Arthur is found too late to be saved.
1. The Second Oldest's Mistake

**AN:** I used the fan wiki for the siblings and the ages may be odd, but in some places it said Wales was the oldest in others it said it was , it made more sense to me if Wales was the oldest. Anyway this is the second follow up story, the stories where Arthur is not saved in time.

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To Lose What Is Lost Chapter One:

Second Oldest

Allistor Kirkland fidgeted and fumbled with the phone in his hand. He felt the urge to check on his youngest brother Arthur Kirkland, but he would not give into that urge. After all he would not be seen to care for that pigheaded Englishman.

He dialed the number of his brothers phone. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair as the phone rang, he was going to ring once more if the phone was not answered and then he was going to go see the other nation in the morning. It was late and he was not going to simply trust his instincts on something like this.

When the answer machine kicked in he hung up and pressed redial. It was concerning, but he was not going to do anything about it at the moment. He had never had a good relationship with Arthur, that was not going to change now.

The answer machine once again kicked in and Allistor growled as he waited for the beep. As soon as it sounded he spoke. "Oy, Arthur, it's me Allistor. Answer ya damned phone." He was annoyed that the other was ignoring him. After hanging up he went to bed, he lay there for ages, the feeling in his stomach getting more powerful and made him feel sick.

It was three in the morning when he finally gave in to the feeling and went to check on Arthur. He arrived at five thirty. Knocking on the door he waited until it was opened by the assistant Arthur had hired. The door was opened and he looked relieved, it soon disappeared into worry.

"Master Scotland, Master England left late last night and has yet to return." He sounds dejected. Then he turned and mumbled about Arthur heading to the beach and he hoped that Arthur had not been reckless. Closing the door on the Scottish man, as he knew that the man was only going to be there to see his brother.

Allistor raised an eyebrow at the unusually rude addressal of the assistant. He then turned and headed towards the beach he had mentioned. "Odd, ya normally don' take walks. Especially at night." He raised a cigarette to his lips and lit it. Allistor took a drag and slowly exhaled the grey smoke. One perk of being forever living until their country fell meant they did not suffer from such habits as smoking.

He took his time to reach the beach. Once he did he gazed at the water, then spotted someone on the shore. Frowning he put out the cigarette and approached the figure. After he made it half way there he stopped dead in his tracks. He recognised the person, feeling horror spread through his body.

"Arthur!" Allistor yelled as he dashed towards his brother. Once he reached him he cradled the younger nation in his arms. "Ya fucking idiot! What the hell have ya done?" Allistor hurriedly looked for Arthur's pulse. Arthur was so cold, he was too cold. "Wha' did ya do?" He screams, feeling his hands shake as he finds nothing.

Allistor spotted a person passing and yelled at them. "Oy! Call an ambulance!"

He hauls the motionless body. 'Arthur, not body, Arthur wont die. Arthur can't die." Once he was nowhere near the water he laid his brother down and opens his brothers mouth to check if his airway was clear, checking once more if he was breathing, and once he comformed that he was not balled one fist in the other and rested it in the middle of Arthur's chest and started to the compressions.

"What the hell do ya think ya were doin'?" Allistor yelled at the unresponsive male and he breathed into his brothers slack lips and found himself repeating the actions, until the ambulance that the passerby had called.

Allistor was forced to part with his brother, being forced into the front of the ambulance instead of the back. He felt tears stinging at his eyes. He found himself dialing 's number in his mobile and bit his lip as he waited.

"Scottie?" Connor's voice sounded surprised and slightly happy to hear from his older brother. "Been a while, how are you?" Allistor had to clear his throat, feeling his voice getting mangled in his throat.

"Connor..." Was all that Allistor could force out, finding himself on the edge of tears, hell he had yet to tell the oldest brother yet. While Dylan Kirkland, who while not the closest to the youngest, he was protective of all his younger siblings, especially Arthur due to the fact he was the baby. It was something Dylan always tried and succeeded to hide.

"What's wrong?" Connor immediately asked and sounded oddly serious for the cheerful attitude. "What's happened?"

Allistor swallowed hard and murmured his answer. "It's Arthur." Was all he could manage. "I'll call at the hospital." He then hung up and quickly dialed Dylan's number. He drummed nervously as the ambulance neared the hospital. When the phone picked up he didn't give Dylan time to say 'hello'. "D-Dylan."

Dylan was immediately alert. "What's wrong? Who's hurt? Which country do I have to murder?" Allistor felt the tears he'd held back start to fall.

"I-it's Arthur... H-he... Shit, Dylan, our baby brother's not breathing..." Allistor sobbed. "I tried, but-" Allistor rubbed his eyes, he needed to calm down, he could not break now. "Fuck, if only I'd gone to see him when I felt uneasy."

"What hospital." It was a demand, not a question. Allistor did not dare to not answer.

"Where are you taking him? O-our older b-brother wants to know." He asks the driver. The driver tells him and he relays the information to Dylan and hangs up. Allistor was waiting in the waiting room when both Dylan and Connor turn up. Gráinne rushed in after them. Their sister was in a panic, she was out of all the siblings the closest to England and she openly showed it.

"Where's my baby brother!" She half screamed as she grabbed Allistor and shook him. "I need to see our baby brother Arthur!" Gráinne was the twin of Connor. Both looked very similar except the obvious difference. She was independent of England now, but she still had a good relation with Arthur, arguably the best of all of them.

A doctor appeared them and cleared his throat. "Are you Arthur Kirkland's relatives?" He asks and the four gather around him quickly.

"Yes." Dylan stated. "I am Dylan, this is Allistor, Conor and Gráinne Kirkland, we are Arthur's older siblings." Dylan was tense, all of the siblings were.

The doctor gave them a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry." He spoke softly.

"No... No!" Connor shouted, he felt sick, this could not be happening.

The doctor looked at the ground and sighed. "I'm afraid that you younger brother passed away, he drowned sometime late last night. It was impossible to save him." The doctor let the siblings have their outbursts.

"No, no, no, no!" Gráinne screamed, she could not lose her baby brother, she would not lose her baby brother! Connor clasped, his legs giving out and he was having to breathe heavily to stop himself from vomiting and Allistor was too numb to do anything but stare into space. Dylan's jaw was set tight and he was clenching his fists into balls, knuckles going white.


	2. The Villain

**AN:****  
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To Lose What Is Lost Chapter Two:

The Villain

Alfred stormed out of Arthur's house and left for America once more. He had fought bitterly with England and no longer wished to be in the horrid country. He had been making innocent jibs at the older nation about the independence he gained. Then made a remark about how small Arthur was now.

"_You used to be so big, now you're just so small now, you'll never be as good as that ever again." Alfred had smirked at Arthur. Arthur grit his teeth, rubbing the blood from his lips, as had bitten his lips to stop himself from making a remark._

_Arthur had been trying to concentrate on his paperwork, that remark however he could not let slide. "Please stop acting like a child." Arthur growled and did not look up._

_The comment hit a nerve in Alfred and he could not stop himself. His fist connected with Arthur's jaw and he stormed off leaving the stunned nation behind him._

Arthur deserved the hit, as he had not yet forgiven England for treating him like a child, he was a pompous arse. On the plain Arthur began to cool down, and feeling incredibly guilty, but he would not turn around now.

Alfred wanted to just get home and sleep, when however Matthew came to visit for the night they ended up arguing.

"Why do you push England, so much?" Matthew sighs. "He raised both of us and surely he deserves some slack."

Alfred rolled his eyes and grabbed for a soda, he needed a break from all the criticism for once, but then again he did know what he did was wrong. "I know that I was wrong, ok? I just... He called me a child and I couldn't stop myself from punching him." He frowned. "I'll call him later and give him an apology, alright?"

Matthew shook his head and shrugged. "Whatever, it's your choice." Matthew then went to bed for the night, he was tired and being in his brothers presence was not helping.

Alfred snorted and downed his soda, he would apologize in a day or so, Arthur could wait. He was not going anywhere. Alfred snaked on a chocolate bar and then followed Matthew's example and went to bed. Alfred found it hard to sleep. Alfred felt the need to check with Arthur, but Arthur would be asleep now and that meant that if he woke him, he would be grumpy.

Alfred could not be bothered to put up with that, so he forced himself to forget about it and finally a few hours later fell into a restless sleep.

It was four in the morning when Alfred and Matthew were woken by the phone going off. Matthew made his way to Alfred's room, to answer the phone if he could not wake up in time to answer it. As he entered Alfred answered it and raised the phone to his ear. "'ello?" He mumbled sleepily.

"America." Wales hard and cold voice set Alfred's nerves on edge. Had England told his oldest brother he had punched him? That was not like England. He puts the phone on speaker phone as Canada suggests. "Is Canada there with you?" He asks, obviously he had heard Matthew's voice over the phone.

"Yes, what's wrong Wales?" He asks.

"I have bad news." Wales starts. Wales sounds oddly pained, which confused both the brothers. "It is England... He has, from all the evidence found, drowned himself." Wales sounds deflated. Alfred dropped the phone, feeling his heart stop.

"What?" Matthew whispered in disbelief. A low sigh was heard over the phone.

"England left his house and went for a walk late last night and Scotland found him early this morning." Wales pauses. "He seems to have jumped from the cliff by the beach near his house... I... None of the Kirkland's will be attending any world meeting for a while, none of us are in a correct state to do so." With that Wales hung up.

Canada had tears starting to fall down his face, still in disbelief. Alfred felt numbness take over his senses. "I..."

Matthew looked at Alfred, his voice cracking as he asked him. "What?"

Alfred took a deep breath. "I... I never got to say I was... Sorry." He murmured. "I never will be able to say I'm sorry." Never before in his life had Alfred ever felt more the part of the villain.

Memories of when he was younger assaulted him. How Arthur had always tried to make him feel loved and never let him be lonely, after all he had visited him as often as possible, giving him toys and clothes.

He had always been the hero in Alfred's eyes, until the civil war. Then he had been the hero and Arthur the villain. Maybe, just maybe he had been the villain all along.


	3. The Eldest's Regrets

**AN:** Third chapter and this is Whale's reactions basically.

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To Lose What Is Lost Chapter Three:

The Eldest's Regrets

Dylan sat staring out of his window and feeling off put by a feeling of regret, he had no clue as to why he felt this way, he had not done anything that he could think would call for such a feeling. He stood and walked over to a draw where he kept his address book. The first he looked up was 'A' the very first contact there was Arthur's. Grabbing his phone he dialed the number and let it ring, when the answer phone came through he left a message.

"Arthur, it's Dylan, give me a call." Once he left it he hung up and looked at the second contact which was Allistor. He was about to dial his number too, but then he looked to the clock and realised the time was very early in the morning and decided that it was highly likely that the reason Arthur had not answered was due to the time.

Putting his phone down he closes the address book, then he forced himself to go to bed, he should not worry so, after all his siblings were grown adults, they should be able to look out for themselves.

Still, he was the eldest. They were his responsibility.

He didn't get to sleep for an hour more. Then it was only for half an hour, until his phone rang.

The shrill noise pieced his sleep, causing him to jump up, sitting so he could reach and fumble about for it. He answered and raised it to his ear about to greet the person on the other end, but they gave him no chance. Their panicked and scared voice caused him to wake fully. "D-Dylan."

Standing up he marched towards the wardrobe to pull out some clothes to wear. "What's wrong? Who's hurt? Which country do I have to kill?" Dylan yanked the clothes out and started to change what he could while he was holding the phone.

There was a brief pause, Allistor was breathing heavily, trying to hold back tears if Dylan was correct. "I-it's Arthur... H-he... Shit, Dylan, our baby brother's not breathing..." Allistor sobbed down the phone and Dylan nearly dropped the phone. "Fuck, if only I'd gone to see him when I felt uneasy." Allistor babbled on as he broke, Dylan almost heard the phone cracking as he tightened his grip.

"What hospital." Dylan demanded down the phone, hoping to not sound too harsh, but the other had to ask the driver before telling Dylan where to go. Dylan hung up and finished dressing in hast. His phone rang once more and he cursed under his breath. "What?" He hissed as he answered, moving to get in his car.

"Dylan? What's wrong? Allistor called me to say that something is wrong with our wee brother!" Connor was talking almost too quick for Dylan to understand him. "He said something about a hospital."

Dylan told him what hospital to go to and hung up. Then Dylan thought about their sister. Had Allistor called him? Dylan dialled the female's number and tapped his thumb impatiently on the steering wheel as he drove.

"Dylan? What ya callin' me at this hour for?" Came Gráinne's grumpy voice, she was not a morning person, obviously.

Dylan sighed, knowing Gráinne was going to overreact to this. Arthur was going to be fine, he should be fine. "Gráinne, please don't overreact, but Arthur is being taken to the hospital." He waits for the information to sink into the twin of Connor.

"WHAT!" Gráinne demanded and there was a clatter as she obviously got up and started to get ready to move. "WHERE!"

Dylan flinched pulling the phone at arm's length from his ear and yelled the name of the hospital, as she continued to ask questions he did not know the answer to, he hung up.

There siblings arrived in record time, breaking many speed limits and a lot of laws as well. Dylan and Connor strode through the doors, Gráinne following close behind. Allistor was sat, his head in hands as they approached he raised his head. Every past that was a blur for Dylan, Gráinne yelling at Allistor, the doctor telling them that Arthur, their baby brother, was dead. Gone.

Dylan stood, fists clenched so hard that his knuckles were white and his nails were digging into his palm. "I want to see him." Dylan muttered. The doctor sighed and nodded, leading the eldest to the room, the others stayed behind for a little longer, to calm down.

"Take your time." The doctor bowed his head as he left. Dylan hesitated for a mere second before he opened the door and saw the motionless body on the table.

Arthur.

Dylan moved into the room, until he was beside the bed, reaching out to run his fingers through the still soaking blond locks. His fingers brushed against Arthur's forehead and he felt how cold it was. Like ice.

When Allistor, Connor and Gráinne came in he left to make a few calls. First was to America, then France. He would let the other nations know as well, but he was hoping one of the two might offer to inform the others.


End file.
